Translator

By N2H

Posts Tagged ‘Catholicism’

An Atheist in the Catholic Church

I purposefully joined a group of Catholics in an attempt to mask my faithlessness as I walked into the church . Much to my surprise, I did not burst into flames. People were dipping their hands into a water bowl on the wall and smearing the water on their foreheads. For a moment I thought about emulating them, but then I thought about how the bowl seemed like a great place to catch Swine Flu. It occurred to me that I stood out and obviously didn’t belong, because I didn’t put the water on my head. I quickly moved into one of the pews and sat down. A woman walked up to my pew and knelt down while crossing herself before she sat down. I looked around and saw others doing the same thing. I felt apprehension at the thought that I might be standing out once again. I went to the church for the sole purpose of trying to expand my horizons and answer a simple question, but now I wondered if this was such a good idea. I must know, could an atheist find something good to say about a Catholic Church?

As I looked around Christ the King, a Catholic Church located at 1551 E. Dana Avenue in Mesa, Arizona, I realized that my apprehension is understandable. Much of the symbolism and ritual in that church is meant to be somewhat intimidating. Catholics seem to use horrific statues to tell their stories. Even on the stage there is a statue of a crucified Jesus Christ. Jesus is the main character in Catholic mythology. He is the son of an all supreme being or God, sent to mankind to be a sacrificial lamb for the sins that mankind has committed. Even I started feeling guilty as I stared quietly at the crucified and pain stricken Jesus statue. Or perhaps I was just feeling coffee withdrawals, you never can tell about such things. Why do these people find it necessary to be up that early on a Sunday anyway?

I’ve never seen a place full of people that was so quiet before. It was spooky enough in that church, the people didn’t need to add to that feeling. Later on a band started playing music and people sang along. At first I was trying to play it cool, but after I sat awhile in my boredom, I joined in. It seemed that singing was encouraged because the lyrics are part of the reading materials that are provided to you. In a cubbyhole in the back of the pew in front of me was a series of pamphlets and song books. After a couple of songs the music changed and this is where the fun began.

Everyone stood, as a series of young boys wearing white robes carried a cross, large candles, and a huge book in to what I would like to call the arena. These items are then followed by the priest. I suspected that the book was the biggest bible I have ever seen. The entrance reminded me of the entrance, that a professional boxer makes when heading to the boxing ring. They played music as the priest entered the center of the stage and his entourage was in front of him just like a boxer before a fight. The only difference I could see, was that both the audience and the priest were very quiet and somber. This contrasted the shouting you would hear at a boxing match. Another major difference is that a Boxer removes his robe the priest does not.

Catholics love making an invisible sign of the cross with their hands. Since the water bowl to to the priest’s entrance, I must have seen people make that sign a dozen times. The first thing the priest does is make this sign. His of course, is even bigger than everyone else and he gets to say stuff out loud. “In the name of the Father and the son and the holy spirit, amen,” the priest said as he made his cross. I just stood their looking foreign as people made these crosses. By then, everyone around me can see that this was my first time in the church. I could feel them looking at me.

There is nothing more creepy than hearing a large group of people repeating or answering a person in a robotic manner and that is exactly what happened. It started with the priest saying, “The Lord be with you.” Which is then followed by a robotic answer from the congregation, “And also with you.” It didn’t end there, the entire first half of the mass consisted of a ritual of robotic answers to what the priest was saying. The priest said things like, “Christ have mercy,” and the congregation would parrot the priest with, “Christ have mercy.” Yes please have mercy on my intimidated atheist ears. I believe that my fear of this mindless robotic speaking was totally justified. The mass of people spoke with one voice and if you have never heard it, I recommend you do. You could feel the power of it. They were almost like an army. These Catholics even recite a manifesto that has a similar importance to, but not the content of, the Pledge of Allegiance.

I was so intimidated by everything that when everyone lowered their heads for a prayer that the priest said out loud, I followed right along. When they sat, I sat and when the stood, I stood and when they knelt down, I knelt down. The whole thing was very out of character for me. I still can’t figure out why I found it necessary to follow along with these rituals. My guess is the psychology of the symbols and rituals got to me.

The prayer ended with a loud and robotic “Amen” and then everyone just sat down. No one told them to sit, they just knew it was time to do so. Again this movement was in harmony and in unison. After the priest had read from the bible everyone just stood up, again no one told them to do it. Even the elderly managed to change positions in harmony with the larger unit. I’ve never seen such discipline before and I served in the United States Army. These Catholics would put most Army units to shame.

Now came what is called the receiving of the Eucharist. This is a very odd ritual where people eat bread and drink wine. These food items are supposed to represent the body and blood of Jesus Christ. After the mass had ended I spoke with a wonderful woman named Jozette Nelms. She attempted to explain the Eucharist to me, “Of course being a Catholic, that is a high point of our faith is to receive what we refer to as the body of Christ,” Said Jozette “… it isn’t just this piece of bread” As an anthropology student, I’m familiar with the importance of symbolism. After all, abstract thinking is what separates us from other animals, but I’m not sure how useful such symbols are to a non-believer. Perhaps symbolically having your sins removed helps people psychologically.

Most of the church stood in a very long line to receive the Eucharist. This is the moment where I felt a little better, because I saw that there were other people not going up to get the piece of bread. I doubt they were atheist hanging out in a Catholic Church like I was, but it was nice not being the only person that wasn’t following along with everyone else for a change. Individualism seems to be a little lost in a Catholic Church.

As soon as I think I got this Catholic stuff figured out, they throw a curve ball at me. “Let us offer each other the sign of peace.” said that priest. People suddenly and randomly turned to me and said “peace be with you”. Everyone was shaken hands and saying the same thing, yet this was one of the few times the people didn’t seem robotic. They were smiling and people would walk over to strangers, including me, and shake their hands. Surprisingly a lot of my apprehension disappeared upon being greeted by these smiling people.

The mass ended and the people started exiting the Church. I wasn’t really sure how I felt about the whole thing and I needed more information. The next couple of days I kept trying to make an appointment with a priest. This was more difficult than I thought it would be. I finally was able to speak the wonderful woman I told you about.

Jozette Nelms is the coordinator of the Ministries of Pastoral Care for Christ the King. If you are sitting there scratching you head while wondering, “What is pastoral care?” do not worry because I will tell you. Jozette works with the families who are grieving over the loss of a loved one, she plans funerals and she also handles marriages and annulments. It isn’t the most sought after job in the world, but Jozette has been with the parish since 1970. “…I love working with people and it isn’t so much what I can do for them, as much as it is how I can be there for them because, I deal with the people I do in bereavement. Just walking with someone in their time of grief and need is just very satisfying to me and you know whether that is a look, or a touch, or a glance, or you know making those arrangements, whatever that is just seems to create a real satisfaction in me, to be there for another human being,” Jozette explained to me. She went on to tell me about the Eucharistic visitors, what Jozette refers to as “The silent heroes.” These visitors bring the Eucharist to people who are bedridden. They spend time with them and care for people that can’t make it to the comer store let alone the church.

While talking to Jozette, I realized that the church wasn’t about the priest or what I considered to be silly rituals. It was about helping your community. Even Jozette herself was working for the church because she needed help at one time. “I became a single parent, and I have five children, and I was in need of a job, and I had a very wonderful pastor at the time, who was looking for a position, and he had several people in mind, and knew that I was in need of one, so he did approach me and asked if I would be interested in working for the church…” Jozette Confessed to me.

I had finally found something nice to say about the Catholic Church. The Church helps people and in the classic Christian way, without advertising it or wanting anything in return. You have to look past all of the symbols and strange get ups and rituals to find the Church’s true soul, and it is one of selfless and charitable service. As much as I like to condemn religious people and Catholics especially, it is impossible to overlook the good these kinds of organizations do. You don’t see us Atheist setting up systems to feed the masses of poor people or comfort the sick, or if we do, we can’t do it the way religion does. Jozette tried to explain to me why a nonbeliever should attend mass.“Come and see, come and see, walk with us, we will tell you about ourselves, we will tell you who we are, we follow, who Jesus is, and we will present that all to you and if that is something that you are looking for, and you feel the call, then maybe this is for you, but, no pressure.” Jozette said to me. I may not feel “the call” but I can see why others might. If you ever get an opportunity to witness the bizarre rituals of a Catholic Mass, I highly recommend it. Who knows, maybe you will feel “the call” that Jozette was talking about.